Архив конференции Fidonet HUMOR.FILTERED,
нагло упертый мной с http://hf.kru.to/
(координатор - Евгений Плисс), и переведенный в html :-)
- HUMOR.FILTERED ---------------------------------------------- HUMOR.FILTERED - From : Tatyana Muzjitskaya 2:5020/321.33 25 Dec 96 22:41:18 Subj : Crack In the Ceiling -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- * Original to All () Enter * Dated <Sat 7 Dec 96 11:20> from area HUMOR.FILTERED'Отфильтpованные шутки' * Forwarded by Tatyana Muzjitskaya (2:5020/321.33) ============================================================================= * Forwarded by Boris Paleev (2:5020/113.311) * Area : REL.HUMOR (REL.HUMOR) * From : Alexei Pavlov, 2:50/128@fidonet (Wed Dec 04 1996 06:33) * To : All * Subj : Crack In the Ceiling ============================================================================= X-RealName: Alexei Pavlov > A STORY OF A HUSBAND AND WIFE > > > TO MY DEAR WIFE: > > During the past year, I have tried to make love to you 365 > times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of > about once every 10 days. > > The following is a list of why I did not succeed more > often: > 54 times the sheets were clean. > 17 times it was too late. > 40 times you were too tired. > 20 times it was too early. > 18 times it was too hot. > 6 times you said the neighbors would hear us. > 29 times you had a headache. > 7 times you were sunburned. > 13 times you said your mother would hear us. > 48 times you were not in the mood. > 17 times you were afraid of waking the baby. > 6 times you were watching the late show on TV. > 5 times you did not want to mess up your hairdo. > 18 times you said you were too sore. > 12 times it was the wrong time of the month. > 19 times you had to get up early. > > Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not > satisfactory because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you > reminded me there was a crack in the ceiling, 14 times you > told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to > wake you to tell you I had finished and once I was > afraid I had hurt you because I felt you stop breathing. > > > TO MY DEAR HUSBAND: > I think you have things a little confused. Here are the > reasons you did not get more than you did: > > 37 times you came home drunk. > 23 times you did not come home at all. > 28 times you did not come. > 43 times you came too soon. > 22 times you went soft before you got in. > 13 times your toes were in a cramp. > 33 times you had to get up early to play golf. > 39 times you worked to late. > 3 times you were in a fight and got kicked in the > balls. > 4 times you caught it in your zipper. > 5 times your coffee was too hot and you burned your > tongue. > 4 times you had a cold and your nose kept running. > 2 times you had a splinter in your finger. > 24 times you lost the notion after thinking about it > all day. > 7 times you came in your pajamas while reading a > dirty book. > 42 times you were too busy watching football on TV. > > Of the times we did get together, the reason I laid still > was because you missed and were fucking the sheets. I was > not talking about the crack in the ceiling...what I said > was, "would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?" > And the time you felt me not breathing was because you > farted and I was trying to catch my breath! > === + Origin: Netcom (2:50/128.0@fidonet) ============================================================================= Hello All! Best regards, Boris --- Ручка шариковая, цена 2.50+ * Origin: из-под дpевней стены ослепительный чиж (2:5020/113)
