Архив конференции Fidonet HUMOR.FILTERED,
нагло упертый мной с http://hf.kru.to/
(координатор - Евгений Плисс), и переведенный в html :-)
- HUMOR.FILTERED ---------------------------------------------- HUMOR.FILTERED - From : Boris Paleev 2:5020/113 05 Jan 95 02:15:44 Subj : 4 Hf? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ============================================================================= * Forwarded by Boris Paleev (2:5020/113) * Area : BORIS_IN (Incoming mail) * From : Harry Bush, 2:51/2 (Monday January 02 1995 20:16) * To : Boris Paleev * Subj : 4 Hf? ============================================================================= Hello Boris! С Hовым Годом! Вот пpосматpивая CD, нашел... :-) Best wishes, Harry Monday January 02 1995 20:16 =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Quick & Very Dirty Install by Greg Borek Congratulations on choosing Non Compos Mentis Software's Software 2000. We are sure that our Software 2000 is the finest software of its kind. To get started, use the distribution diskettes supplied with this release and follow the instructions provided. Happy Computing! 1. Insert disk 1 in the drive, close the door and hit ENTER. 2. Insert disk 2 in the drive, and hit ENTER. 3. Because you didn't close the drive door, put disk 1 back in the drive, close the door, and hit ENTER twice. 4. Can't you read? I said hit ENTER twice. Put disk 2 in the drive, close the door, get up, walk around your chair in a clockwise direction once, then hit ENTER. 5. DID I SAY YOU COULD SIT BACK DOWN? Wow, you are really going to make this hard on yourself. Put disk 3 in the drive, close the door, walk across the room barefoot while reciting the alphabet backwards. When you get back, I'll have something else for you. Now get going. OK, now sit down and type in the name of the character from Shakespeare that said, "Brevity is the soul of wit", and hit ENTER. Wrong, try again. Wrong! It was Polonius. I really don't think you are qualified to use this software. Wouldn't you rather be watching professional wrestling right now? No? OK, I have nowhere else to go, so let's try again, shall we? Put disk 1 in the drive, close the door and hit ENTER. 6. Wow, you actually did that right! You surprised me! Put disk 2 in the drive, close the door, and hit F10. 7. I wish you had a Sound Blaster so you could hear me sigh. I'll just overlook the fact that you hit ENTER instead of F10, you silly homo sapien. Hey, you cheap bastard, do you realize what kind of gyrations I have to go through because you only have a monochrome monitor? Spring for a VGA monitor will you? Put disk 3 in the drive, close the door, touch your nose with your lower lip, and without uttering any expletives hit the ENTER key. 8. No, that wasn't an expletive but you also couldn't say that on television unless you are Howard Stern. If you are not Howard Stern, write a letter to your mother with that word in it. When you are finished writing your letter (I'll wait) put disk 4 in the drive, close the door, and hit ENTER. If you are Howard Stern, you don't need to write a letter to your mother with that word in it - she is familiar with that word by now. By the way, keep up the good work and I'll let you in on a little secret: the software is all contained on the first disk and has already been successfully installed, so you can stop now. I just put the bozos through this drill because it gives hundreds of lower paid workers a good laugh. 9. There were 4 spelling mistakes in the letter to your mother. Correct them before you mail it, but I don't have the patience to wait for you to find them. Put disk 2 in the drive, close the door and type "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" with your nose before hitting ENTER. 10. That took a while, but congratulations! You have passed a test that took the ape creatures of the Indus less time to complete. Next time get an 8 year old to help you. God knows how you are going to actually run this software. What am I saying? You are only going to start the software once anyway - it's not a game! {RAH} -------------- Greg Borek is a C programmer with a "Highway Helper" (OK, "Beltway Bandit" - but don't tell his boss we told you) in Falls Church, VA. He has previously been mistaken for a vampire. Netmail to: Greg Borek at 1:261/1129. Internet: greg.borek@rah.clark.net === GoldEd/2 2.50.B1016+ + Origin: Poetry Appreciation Chairs (2:51/2) ============================================================================= Hello All! Best regards, Boris --- Ручка шариковая, цена 2.42.G0614+ * Origin: Minas Anor (2:5020/113)
