Архив конференции Fidonet HUMOR.FILTERED,
нагло упертый мной с http://hf.kru.to/
(координатор - Евгений Плисс), и переведенный в html :-)
- HUMOR.FILTERED ---------------------------------------------- HUMOR.FILTERED - From : funny-request@clari.net 2:5020/293 14 Aug 95 19:38:18 Subj : (1) The True News Digest part 15/22 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ┌----------------------------------------------------------------------------┐ Forwarded by Leo V. Mironoff (2:5020/293) Area : REC.HUMOR.FUNNY From : Funny Guy (2:50/128@fidonet), Thursday August 10 1995 05:25 Subj : (1) The True News Digest part 15/22 └----------------------------------------------------------------------------┘ From: 90700449@dcu.ie (Gary Stephens) Subject: On-the-job training From the Irish Times, Monday 11th November, 1991... CANBERRA - Tax authorities have told a South Australian brothel it must provide training for employees or face taxation penalties. The requirement, revealed by the opposition, relates to a scheme which provides that employers with an annual payroll of more than about #96,000 must spend a minimum of one per cent of that on training. "Naturally, all of us are wondering what sort of training programmes the Australian Taxation Office has in mind" the opposition trade spokeman, Mr Alexander Downder, said. - (Reuter) = = = = = = = From: irick@ecn.purdue.edu (GarBear Irick) Organization: Purdue University School of Electrical Engineering Subject: A tiring journey! True story... I was checking the ride board at our Student Union the other day, and noticed an interesting slip hanging on the peg for California. Evidently, the student needs a ride to California, but phrased it a little differently than most: "I want to be ridden to California." That's quite a piggy-back ride from West Lafayette, Indiana!! = = = = = = = From: randyg@chopin.udel.edu (Randal W Glass) Subject: Ms. Eveready This is a _true_ story!: My brother is a third year medical student currently in his gynecological clerkship at a large Chicago metropolitan hospital. The other day a woman was admitted for an unspecified problem, and my brother was sent to examine her. He proceeded to ask her for her medical history and the nature of her problem, and since her responses were fairly vague he decided to forego the complete battery of questions and to just go ahead and do the physical examination. He inserted the speculum, and much to his surprise(!) and (I hate to say it) shock he noticed a large metallic foreign body well inside his patient. Keeping rock-solid composure, he closely examined this object and determined that what he was looking at was the negative end of a 'D' cell battery! In a most professional manner worthy of Hippocrates himself, he and his team removed the battery and then sent the woman home. Well, suffice to say that nothing remains confidential at this hospital (particularly this type of happening), and even though my brother took great pains to keep it quiet, word got out and spread in the usual manner. Later that day a member of another student group approached my brother and asked laughingly, "Well, how'd it go with Ms. Eveready?!" My brother, who never misses such a great opportunity replied; "Well," he said, breaking into an evil semi-serious grin, "she was dis-charged." = = = = = = = From: johnl@iecc.cambridge.ma.us (John R. Levine) Subject: Most ominous news story of the week >From the Nov 13th Beach Haven (N.J.) Times, in a story about a local resident's efforts to create a presidential library for the papers of Grover Cleveland: Cleveland served as the 22nd and 24th presidents of the U.S. and was born in Essex County. He was inagurated for the first time in 1885 and again in 1893. Cleveland was known for the regulation of trusts while he was president. Currently he is buried in Princeton. = = = = = = = From: tjt@phsbbs.princeton.nj.us (Chris Preston) Organization: Princeton High School, Princeton, New Jersey Subject: Soundgarden... Recently I attended a rock concert, where a group called Soundgarden did the opening. During the course of the night the lead singer made many punnish coments, but one particulary funny line of his went like this... "Recently we [Soundgarden] put out a new album. My advice to you is to go out and buy it for you parents, for Christmas.... F!@# ties, and cookware... give something you KNOW they'll hate!!" = = = = = = = From: ianb@ocf.berkeley.edu (Ian Barkley) Subject: Truthful Professor Heard in my Physics 110B lecture (taught by Prof. Strovink): "Now this equation, to a first approximation, tends to infinite confusion." = = = = = = = From: rjavor@ucrmath.ucr.edu (ron javor) Subject: Plumbing Philosophy Bumper sticker seen on the back of a plumber's truck in Los Angeles... "Your shit is my bread and butter" = = = = = = = From: momotaro@odin.unomaha.edu (Bryan L. Stack) Organization: University of Nebraska at Omaha Subject: Wang maintenance story -- true When I was in the Air Force, I worked for a time for an engineer, Captain W-, who was in charge of installation and maintenance of computer systems in our unit. On one occasion, we had to take the Wang mainframe off line. When we reconnected it, the Captain made this announcement over the intercom: "This is Captain W-. Your Wangs should now be up. If you have any trouble getting your Wang up, call me immediately." (c) 1991 Bryan L. Stack Do you think Reader's Digest would print this in "Humor in Uniform"? -- Selected by Jim Griffith. MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to funny@clari.net Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply. -- Selected by Jim Griffith. MAIL your joke to funny@clari.net. Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply. Remember: Only ONE joke per submission. Extra jokes may be rejected. --- . Origin: (2:50/128.0@fidonet) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ --- lvm@module.vympel.msk.ru * Origin: - The Endless Quest - (2:5020/293)
